Why can't I reach [...some of...] my goals?
This past weekend, I was home alone for a few hours and did something that shocked my wife and to a certain extent even myself! I scrubbed the balcony and BBQ clean, rolled out a carpet, bought some outdoor plants and made a little summer hangout space that I have been spending a lot of time in since Saturday. Also went out, got some fruit and other “healthy” ingredients and made the biggest batch of Sangria that one can consume in a few hours. (It was my free day, so don’t wag your finger).
As I sat down to enjoy my masterpiece in the pleasant 35 degree heat, I started thinking and evaluating this somewhat new chapter of my life, mainly the past 3 years since Versus was born, where I started, where I have been, and where I’m headed. I looked back to see what my goals used to be 3 years ago, how they have evolved over time(into little giants that at times haunt me at night:-) and how many of them I have reached vs. not even close to reaching. Despite taking great pride in being a positive thinker, I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed in myself for not having met a few of my major goals. As an example, let’s focus on my Jiu Jitsu game. About a year ago I set a goal for myself to not get submitted by any blue belt or lower ranks in our club no matter what. It wasn’t about tapping people out or putting on “pimp-shows”. It wasn’t about winning medals, it was a realistic goal that I was (and am) passionate about: Not making mistakes that put me in a dangerous position. Well, this week during training, I put myself in a few very dangerous positions. So what went wrong? Everyone makes mistakes, however that shouldn’t become a constant excuse. Sometimes you have to say it like it is: “I screwed up!” and see what you need to do to fix it.
I mentioned goals. I talk about goals lots with my students and clients. So naturally they also become reminders to myself and over time the concept of Goal Setting has become a significant part of my day-to-day life and it has worked well for the most part. However, I’d like to propose a small enhancement to Goal Setting – introducing: The Promise. In order to make my objectives more emotionally charged, I’m changing the word “Goal” to “Promise“. My reasoning is that I will think twice more before breaking a Promise. By breaking a promise, I will be letting myself or someone else down. By keeping a promise I will build credibility and get one step closer to to reaching my objective.
Se here’s my plan…
My Objective: Don’t get submitted by Blue Belts or lower in our club
What do I need to do in order to get to my objective? Not give up dangerous positions
What do I need to do in order not to give up dangerous positions? Work on my defensive game – So…
I Promise myself to train at least 3 times a week with a special focus on my defensive game.
I Promise to not risk submission attempts that expose me to danger
I Promise to stay calm and collected and think before I act
I Promise to ask my coach (Todd Smith, he’s awesome at the defensive game) at the end and during each training session to give me tips that will help me improve my defense. Sometimes a small promise like this, the promise to ask a seasoned veteran for help is the most important step.
I will also try to make the same small Promises to myself in order to get to my other objectives. Give that a try and let me know how it works for you. I will definitely keep you updated on my progress too.